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The Peristaltic Testator

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Hard Boiled Gecko, Anyone? [18 May 2008|12:45pm]


From the Courier Mail:

Dr Peter Beaumont, 60, was cooking Thai fish cakes for dinner when he found a fully formed gecko inside an egg shell.

He believes the discovery may be a world first and may help solve a food poisoning puzzle.

"I was cracking the eggs into a pan when I noticed one of them was all cloudy.

"I looked at the shell and saw a tiny gecko."

Dr Beaumont said the lizard had not got into the shell after he had discarded it because the reptile was embedded between the inner-shell and the egg's membrane.

He said the gecko may have crawled into the chicken to feast on an embryo – and got stuck.

The egg then formed around the lizard.
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Pure Shit? [16 May 2008|08:37pm]
Many words have meanings commonly accepted today but of unknown origin. I may have stumbled upon one such: pure.

For example, look at the Online Etymology Dictionary's take on "purify":

c.1300, "free from spiritual pollution," from O.Fr. purifier (12c.), from L. purificare "to make pure," from purus "pure" (see pure) + root of facere "to make" . . . . Meaning "free from extraneous matter" is recorded from c.1440. . . . (Emphasis mine)


Interestingly, the next entry below "purify" is defecate:

1575, "to purify," from L. defæcatus, pp. of defæcare "cleanse from dregs, purify," from the phrase de fæce "from dregs," pl. fæces "feces. . . ."


Some recent reading suggests the two definitions may be more alike than we would like to think. Remember, folks, many words in our randomly-gleaned junk pile of a language predate printing, coming from the tradespeople who, though extremely competent at their lives and the tasks that professionally occupied them, never read or wrote a word. The words they used were eventually written, but often only after being filtered through the author's zeitgeist. For example, since many of the writers in the Middle Ages were monks, words tended to be filtered religiously. A monk might, for example, take a word known well to the common people and use it poetically to impart a religious lesson or image.

"Pure-finders" in London refer not to those of a religious bent, but on people who collect dog turds, or "pieces of pure," and sell these to leather tanners:

The pure collected is used by leather-dressers and tanners. . . . The dung has astringent as well as highly alkaline, or, to use the expression of my informant, "scouring," qualities. When the pure has been rubbed into the flesh and grain of the skin (the "flesh" being originally the interior, and the "grain" the exterior part of the cuticle), and the skin, thus purified, has been hung up to be dried, the dung removes, as it were, all such moisture as, if allowed to remain, would tend to make the leather unsound or imperfectly dressed."

Henry Mayhew, London Labour and the London Poor, New York: Penguin, 1985, p. 143 (the articles comprising the book were compiled in book form first in 1851).


Here we see pure -- again, bits of dog shit -- used to purify the skins not religiously, but to make them "free from extraneous matter." "This is done to 'purify' the leather, I was told by an intelligent leatherdresser, and from that term the word 'pure' has originated," the quoted source specifies.

I don't know. Sure, in English "pure" as a piece of poop might reflect its part in leather purification; but what of "purify?" Leather tanning has been around a hell of a lot longer than most religions today. Perhaps the purity of the skins predated the purity of the soul. I find some comfort in realizing that the monks might have borrowed a term from the tanners, just as the word "test" came from metal workers and a glass lens refers to nothing more lofty than its shapely resemblance to a bean.

Of course, what other conclusion can one expect from the Peristaltic Testator?
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Myth of the Moral Majority [13 May 2008|09:50pm]
Something I've mentioned before has, it seems, been further clarified by Mother Jones:

The emperor's-new-clothes flimsiness of these widely accepted exaggerated numbers says much about the cold calculation of far-right religious leaders. Moral Majority and Focus on the Family have happily staked their clout on coreligionists who never knew they were being counted—often twice or three times—among the faithful for political ends. "The idea that evangelicals are taking over America is one of the greatest publicity scams in history," Wicker concludes, "a perfect coup accomplished by savvy politicos and religious leaders, who understand media weaknesses and exploit them brilliantly."

. . . Part of the problem is that the national-level journalists who control the discourse tend not to be, nor have they ever been, committed religionists as adults. Newsrooms are determinedly secular, and self-consciously so. Afraid of being tagged as godless liberals, most journalists would never dream of calling BS on believers. (Emphasis mine)


Yes, folks, there aren't nearly as many in the God Squad as they would like you to believe. Let's see that graph I posted once again:



Ah. Pretty.


Thanks to [info]richie73.
1 comment|post comment

Human Billboards, Human Sheep [10 May 2008|10:57pm]
The sure sign of any economy's decline has to be the preponderance of paid sandwich board wearers and other sign wavers. For a few bucks an hour they stand with someone else's business interest emblazoned across their bodies, as if they had no skills to offer other than the ability to stand upright and perhaps wave at passing traffic, pretending to be other than mortified with embarrassment, embalmed with booze or drugs -- or mentally having the time of their lives in whatever demeaning circumstances they find themselves.

Yet many of us perform just such acts of self-humiliation every day, perhaps without notice. )
9 comments|post comment

Accuracy Helps Convey Ideas [08 May 2008|11:11am]
Here someone feels passionately about preserving the English language.




Really, though, is there any difference between her original sign and one only slightly modified?




Thanks to this post from [info]cargoweasel and pixel mixing from [info]zetawoof.
4 comments|post comment

What's Your Calling In Name-Life? [04 May 2008|10:09pm]
Throughout the years, I have met people through their professions, people whose names define their work. Here's a sample, but with a twist: See if you can find out which one I made up.

  • The woman who cleaned our house when I was in high school: Mrs. Sloppy.
  • My mother's proctologist: Dr. Colon.
  • The orthopedic surgeon who operated on my knee: Dr. Hopp.
  • My regular dentist: Dr. Nash.


  • Honestly, three out of the four are actual professionals in the indicated field and their names. Any guesses as to which is fiction?


    Edit for the Answer 5-6-2008

    ANSWER:Two out of three guessers got it right. Dr. Colon (spelled Colón, but pronounced by Mom as ":") was not Mom's proctologist, but was her gynocologist. I used to joke that he just missed his calling.

    Oh, and not only was Mrs. Sloppy Mom's house cleaner, her first name was Ida.
    4 comments|post comment

    The History of Oil [03 May 2008|12:09pm]


    Robert Newman explains the historical politics behind oil. It's long but very informative. And funny. I've mentioned some of the points he makes before, but lots of his information is new to me.

    Enjoy.
    3 comments|post comment

    Booky Meme-y [03 May 2008|10:28am]
    "What we have here is the top 100 books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing's users. As in, they sit on the shelf to make you look smart or well-rounded. Bold the ones you've read, underline the ones you read for school, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish. Here's the twist: add (*) beside the ones you liked and would (or did) read again or recommend; add another for each time you've re-read the book. Even if you read 'em for school in the first place." Cut for listy silliness. )

    For the record, Dofstoyesky can be summarized by making a sock puppet of your hand and making it talk without words for three days. Most folks say the same thing about Melville, but they're wrong, wrong, wrong.
    2 comments|post comment

    At the Opera the Other Day. . . . [02 May 2008|08:57am]
    Went to see a dressed rehearsal of I Puritani Wednesday. It's your typical Italian opera, lots of lost and unrequited love, sword fighting, and the madness that befalls those that suffer unfairly. Three and a half hours worth.

    Opening Act II, Elvira, shrouded in her wedding veil and hauntingly mad, belts out the best aria the production had yet offered and leaves the stage to her thwarted suitor Riccardo and her uncle, Giorgio. A new thematic melody and introduces the scene between them -- and a stifled snicker sweeps the nearly-filled hall. Many, myself included, are carried abruptly from the staged musical conflict to more recent entertainments that simply don't fit the tenor of the production.

    You see, that melody, penned by Vincenzo Bellini over a hundred years ago and carried with strength and import by a single French horn, matched for two or three bars nearly note for note the Brady Bunch theme.

    I Puritani. It's the story of a lovely lady.
    4 comments|post comment

    Another Reason Why I Hate Coal [30 Apr 2008|12:49pm]
    The ash surrounding some coal plants can contain up to 100 times more radiation than the soil outside a nuclear plant.

    The result (of a 1978 study published in Science): estimated radiation doses ingested by people living near the coal plants were equal to or higher than doses for people living around the nuclear facilities. At one extreme, the scientists estimated fly ash radiation in individuals' bones at around 18 millirems (thousandths of a rem, a unit for measuring doses of ionizing radiation) a year. Doses for the two nuclear plants, by contrast, ranged from between three and six millirems for the same period. And when all food was grown in the area, radiation doses were 50 to 200 percent higher around the coal plants.



    Link verbiage edited to provide better accuracy than the linked article itself.
    13 comments|post comment

    What Eccentric Billionaires Can Afford To Do [24 Apr 2008|02:10pm]
    I"m a bit confused right now. Bemused, upset, incredulous. . . I don't have words.



    This is the first Superman comic ever printed. Folks are asking over a million dollars for a mint copy.



    This video (from this page) shows "an eccentric billionaire" burning his copy with a solar parabolic mirror.

    A million bucks, up in smoke. On a whim. The horror . . . the horror. . . .
    4 comments|post comment

    How Not To Launch a Boat [18 Apr 2008|11:12am]






    I've launched boats. I've been the guy on the boat while it is lowered (hopefully slowly) to the water. I really have no desire to be the guy in the second picture in freefall in the ladder well between the aft deck and the swimboard.

    For you Photoshop accusers, here's the Snopes detail.
    6 comments|post comment

    The Very Active Penis of Dr. Gaius Baltar [14 Apr 2008|06:23pm]
    For those that wish to but have not yet already enjoyed every single new-series Battlestar Galactica episode, note that this cut protects your uninitiated eyes from some serious spoilers. Consider yourself warned. )
    6 comments|post comment

    I've a Quick Question [08 Apr 2008|08:42pm]
    What podcasts can anyone reading this recommend?

    Rather than list those to which I now subscribe, I'll just let anyone throw out props to their favorites. That should make things more interesting.

    Thanks!
    7 comments|post comment

    Gaming Economies of Scale [07 Apr 2008|01:27pm]
    I started losing friends to the MMORPGs back when they first started. I even joined a bit, but back in the older days, the dial-up connections were just too expensive to maintain and shitty to play, so I didn't do much. Still, I remember dropping by a friend's house for a quick bite and being told he had to meet his gang at the Fairy Pond to slay Pixie-dusters or whatever.

    (I know it's common today, but think about this: a person has to turn down an afternoon with another real person -- who's buying lunch -- to have an avatar meet other avatars slay virtual pixel creatures for pixel prizes. It still beggars my imagination.)

    The fact that I got blown off wasn't the real issue, either. You see, once you gained enough experience in, in his case Eversmack, the game lost its luster. The prizes one could collect from slaying dragons, and pixies and bears, oh my, was limited; the time you could spend getting those prizes was unlimited; and the cost of maintaining your character was minimal. In other words, as you progressed in the game the reward for doing so decreased significantly.

    That got me to thinking of ways to improve the game. . . . which led to this lengthy rant that non-gamers would find tedious in the extreme. )
    7 comments|post comment

    From Think Geek . . . [06 Apr 2008|09:39pm]
    Supper Pii Pii Brothers!



    Turn your Wiimote into a strap-on and pee on, amongst other things, toilet cats. I wish I were kidding. It seems the aim of one portion of this game is to pee on cats hiding in toilets.

    I looks like damned good fun.
    4 comments|post comment

    A Slithering Good Invention [03 Apr 2008|09:42pm]


    A robotic snake, backed by an electronic version of Ozzy's "Over The Mountain."
    2 comments|post comment

    A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Elephant [30 Mar 2008|02:11pm]


    [info]alobar led me to this one.
    2 comments|post comment

    He's the Dick, to the Doc, to the P-h-D [29 Mar 2008|10:07am]


    . . . he's smarter than you he's got a science degree!


    I'm not a huge rap fan, but this Evolutionist v. Creationist diatribe proves quite singable. And well researched.
    5 comments|post comment

    Formatting Fear [28 Mar 2008|12:40pm]
    Radio Lab just did a great recap of Orson Welles' 1938 "War of the Worlds" broadcast, the radio event that not only led to mass panic across the United States, but has been duplicated twice more to similar disastrous effect. What got me? Near the end of the show, media professor Jason Loviglio remarks on radio newscasts done well, as Edward R. Murrow did them during the London Blitz:

    He's giving us the story of an unfolding emergency. . . but his mastery of information, his mastery of his own voice, his bravery on the scene . . . . This was the beginning of the formatting of fear, the formatting of crisis. . . sort of a ritual, evoking a terrible danger and then, some how, assuaging those fears through the performance of the news. And so people go to the news not to be afraid, but to be afraid and then to be reassured.


    Welles, by contrast, took the radio news flash format and turned it on its ear, destroying the reassurance and spreading panic. In part, he did this (by his own admission in 1955) to force people to question what they are being told. Has anyone listened? Well, it seems the wrong people listened. Krulwich notes:

    The War of the Worlds . . . was so good at grabbing an audience and sucking them in, that the Welles formula, you might call it, the newscast that scares you enough to keep you listening has been adopted by, of all folks, news companies. . . . So many newscasts tease you with things that aren't quite true . . . . Even if the headline is slightly preposterous, even if it is slightly scary, even if it is slightly false, we will listen.


    Loviglio agrees:

    The fear that these broadcasts generate now suck us in. . . . You'd think that 70 years later, we'd be more sophisticated and critical when the local newscaster tells us that there's something we're feeding our children that could kill them and they'll tell us after the news, I still listen. . . . I'm a media critic, and I still wait through the commercials to see what is it that I'm doing to kill my child. . . . Somehow, it gets me every time. (Emphasis mine.)


    ". . . I still wait through the commercials. . . ." Loviglio nails the reason a vast majority of today's commercial news broadcasts have gotten so misleading, so bloody, so shrill. Commercial news exists not to inform, not to develop the educated populace Thomas Jefferson noted proved so necessary to democracy, but to package and sell commercial spaces.

    That. Is. All.
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